by Malaysia Barr
Growing up I remember sitting on my grandfather’s lap and feeling important. He is a deacon at our church and all deacons sit together in one section. I felt so special and knew from a young age that I wanted to be special like my grandfather.
As I got older, I began to take on more responsibilities in the church. I was in the youth choir, assistant youth Sunday school superintendent, and I was a junior usher. I sang in the choir from the age of 7 to 18, and I was the president from age 15. I loved the choir because it gave me a sense of belonging and all of my friends were in it. As assistant youth Sunday school superintendent–I was in charge of Sunday school activities. While in this position, I learned to speak and lead. I also learned that I have a passion for teaching, as I taught Sunday school on special days (like youth day). While I served as a junior usher, I learned the importance of serving others. Church for me was (and still is) a place of comfort, growth, and community. There was seldom a Sunday I missed, and most everyone I knew attended a church service every Sunday. I have so much love for many people in my church and met some of the most influential people there. I have also grown as a person there: spiritually, mentally, and emotionally. Without it as a part of my foundation, I would not be the same person I am today. For many, church is a part of their weekly routine.
When I came to college, I did not have a secure church and life reflected that. I felt lost and I did not know who or where to turn to when things went wrong. My mental space was not the same and I honestly did not feel myself. After I found a church in Clemson, I started to see my love for church and community come back. This has allowed a newfound peace to come back into my life, something I greatly appreciate.
However, I have noticed that when I go back home to my home church I don’t view it the same. Maybe it’s because I am growing as a person and in my own personal relationship with Christ, but it was admittedly hard for me to get back into my church. I also see that in my church there is a demographic missing: young adults. Hardly anyone my age is in church and that makes it hard for me to want to be engaged some Sundays. I still go, but even this can be out of habit because it is somewhat expected of me. I know that if I do not go, my family would look at me crazily and probably say: “Malaysia if you’re not sick, you have to go to church. It’s only right.” And while my family has not had to say this to me- part of me knows that I’m going out of routine. Going to church on Sunday is something I’ve always done with no questions asked. But it’s not a bad thing! I do enjoy going to hear the sermon of the day and seeing members I have not seen in months. I know that this ritual is needed for me to keep the relationships I’ve made in church the same. The community I’ve made will always keep me coming back, whether I want to or not some days.
What strikes me as odd, though, is that I am not alone in feeling this way. Many of my peers (from Clemson and back home) feel that the church that once served them no longer does so. This is interesting to me for several reasons. One of the biggest is how can we (as the church and body of Christ) engage more young adults? Another reason is that in my personal journey as a Christian I questioned the traditions in my church and whether or not they aligned with Scripture. As I questioned this, I realized that this was normal- many people question routine things as they get older.
As I discussed the matter with some friends, common themes stood out:
- As a young adult, finding yourself means omitting God in some cases.
- Foundations will always be important, but branching out and building means more.
- The collective traditions of the church do not serve the individual.
For theme one, it is important to emphasize that as a child becomes an adult- their expressions of themselves change from how their family sees them. From 18-25, when a person is a young adult, they are constantly trying to figure out who they are in the grand scheme of things. I can attest to this. When I was eighteen, I rebelled against my parents as I allowed what I perceived as my newfound adulthood to completely reprogram my way of thinking. I wanted nothing to do with what my parents had taught me. Instead, I wanted to forge my own path that included my own ideologies. I believe this is what many young people want. They want so badly to find their own way, they abandon those things that their parents had taught them. This could be the abandonment of a hairstyle, a food item, or something as deeply rooted as a religious mindset. Many young adults–as they want to pave their own distinctive way–decide to let go of their religious identities, which does not only include Christianity but any number of religions. Because Christianity is so deeply rooted in America and in the traditional American identity, it is no surprise that many young adults decide to reject the religion altogether. For some, this means rejecting the teaching that Sunday school, a private Christian school, or what their bedtime prayers taught them. This was not the case with me. As I entered college and truly began to navigate faith on my own, I believe that God used the Sunday school teachings I learned to help guide me and mold me as I became a young adult.
If theme one is about the rejection of childhood ideologies, then the second theme is about growing into oneself while still keeping adolescent lessons close. Now that I am a young college student who takes many courses, I often see what I did in high school as a foundation for what I am learning now. I took a statistics course my freshman year, and almost immediately saw an overlap in my high school precalculus class. What I learned back in high school has allowed me to branch out into my college courses. I believe that many young adults have a similar experience with faith. As they transition into college, many youths have various foundations (educational, familial, etc). One foundation could be religion. Some young adults spent lots of time in a church setting as they grew up. They know the ins and outs of how religion is supposed to work based on how it has been taught to them. However, as they transition into young adults and start their own journeys, this notion changes. They start to see more, experience more and become more and more individualized. This impacts how they worship and their relationship to their home church. With their foundations at the home church secure, the young adult only wants to branch out and build something of their own. This often manifests itself as the young person decreases regular attendance of their home church for another place of worship or completely severs ties with the church completely. This comes from their desire to branch out and build something of their own, even in terms of worship and faith.
Finally, some young adults feel that the traditions of church do not serve them as they get older. For many Christian denominations (Catholic, Baptist. Lutheran, Pentecostal, etc), there is an expected order of worship. This can look like kneeling, reciting a certain prayer, or having the choir all dress the same. Traditions are important in the church because it allows for the older generation to teach the younger generation. However, traditions become problematic when they refuse to adjust to the times. Most church traditions were instated when the church was instilled, and for many denominations, that goes back 100 years. However- culture has changed since the forming of the church. For the young adult, this manifests itself in their everyday lives. An example of this would be the music. Personally, I grew up in a small town predominantly black Baptist church. In this church, the music was what we call “old school worship”: hand-clapping, foot-stomping, organ playing music. And while this music is not bad at all, it makes it hard for a lot of the younger generation to want to be engaged because the music I know today is completely different from what my grandparents listened to. Another example of traditions becoming bad is the sermon itself. While the Sunday sermon is there to correct and encourage, sometimes it can hinder people and discourage them from coming. This is because some clergy members are only equipped to reach a certain demographic of people. Take for example the stereotypical strong, dominant, male pastor. He can easily relate to the issues that a man faces. But what about when a woman has an issue that has her on the verge of tears. How would he handle that? These two examples are just a few of the many ways traditions in church can be disheartening to young adults.
While some people feel that the traditions of the church are not useful, there are some who think the exact opposite. Many of the people I grew up with, still attend church to this day. And as we get older and reflect on our times in the youth choir- we see that the traditions of the church served us well. In my case, the church has helped me to”do as asked when asked”. This means that anytime I am called upon to lead, I’ll do it with a quickness because growing up in church taught me how to serve. Not only has it helped me in this way, it has also allowed me to help those younger than me. When I left for college and came back, my sister had taken a lot of my previous roles in church. Because I knew how to do them, I helped her to adapt to the newness of the position she was stepping into. This is not only in my case but in others. Some young adults lead service for the younger children in their church, helping them to grow in various ways.
Young adults face change every day. Whether it’s a change in music choice or workout schedule- change for the young adult is going to happen. With this change, comes the desire to branch out and be their own person. And they will do that, even if it means leaving their foundations. This constant negotiation of choosing what is important and not important will always affect the life of the young adult. It’s a normal process that all will go through, if not with religion, it could be anything else. In any case, individualism for the young adult is at the forefront of their being, and they will get it by any means necessary. For me, I think back to those times when I sat on my granddad’s lap in church- feeling big and strong. I felt individualized then because it was my choice to be with him. As it was then, it is my choice to remain as a churchgoer- because it strengthens my individualism. It makes me who I am, and helps me to evolve into who I want to be.
